I hope I don't get sick.

Love is like unsweetened chocolate. It taste good but it’s fucking bitter. Falling in love makes me sick. I literally get sick. My stomach turns, I can’t eat, I get dizzy, and I have trouble breathing. I’m not sure if I like the feeling or not. On one hand it’s exciting and tingles kinda like drugs. I even get a little woozy. But the hangover is a bitch. It’s much worse than a night of heavy drinking at least recovering from a hangover only last a day. But recovering from a love can take years. Sometimes you won’t ever recover. You drag yourself around with a dull langover (love hangover) for the rest of you life. I’m sure since the invention of devoice there are a lot of people walking around like zombies with some serious long lasting langovers.

These langovers take up so much of your life that it limits your chance to feel the good parts. The bitterness takes over and you don’t believe anything anyone tells you.

“You’re so sexy”
“You’re so amazing”
“God, you’re beautiful”

All the while in you head you think to your self “I heard this before and it didn’t end well. Where did I hear this? Oh yeah it was that fucker who hurt me. The one that made me feel like shit for months on end.” So you stop believing the words people say and you sabotage your love, by thinking this one is lying too, or once she/he gets to know you better they won’t want you anymore. You're damaged goods. It’s not your fault you’re only trying to protect yourself.

But the biggest fear is not only hurting yourself but hurting the other person too. the person you are falling in love with. You are reminded of all the pain you and your “ex” went through trying to make it work and in the end it failed. Why should this be any different? I haven’t changed; I’m still the same person. It’s so hard to remember that they aren’t the same person. They’re a new person and not that person that hurt you. They might see things in you that the last person didn’t.

So as the song goes “Don’t stop believing”

Oh god, that has to be the cheesiest blog I have written so far. I might just have to delete it.