Kamikaze Pedestrians

This morning on my way to work I encountered yet another kamikaze pedestrian. I swear this is some new craze taking the city by storm. It’s like sky diving or base jumping. There are 3 types of these road risk craving humans.

1. The “I'm too cool to pick up the pace”. These people meander across the street while the light is green not even at a crosswalk as cars speedily approach them. They don't even look at your car as you slow down to avoid hitting them. Sometimes they will even raise there hand slightly as if they have some supernatural power that will bring your car to a halting stop all the time not even acknowledging the person in shock behind the wheel. I understand you may not have some where to go, but maybe the person in the car is trying to get somewhere. Pick-up the pace, There is a car speeding tward you. Your life is at risk. This is not a time to dilly dally!

2. The “I needed to be on that side of the street so bad I will risk both our lives”. These People are worse in some ways because you never know when they are coming. They stand on one side of the street in a prepared to run stance and wait. Then all of a sudden they bolt out into the middle of the street trotting before your car. Sometimes they will even mouth the words "Sorry". Sorry, wouldn't fix your back if my reflexes weren't so quick enough to stop.

3. The “Street kid”. The street kid is usually found on side streets and allies but does venture to main roads on occasion. This specimen plays in the street without any regard for traffic. Usually any child’s game like tag or jump rope. You may need to avoid some routs completely because once they have taken over the street it is hard to get them to move. You could be sitting in your car all day waiting for them to mossy on out of you way. As they get older they are known as the “street thugs” they are usually boys. They still play in the streets but the games are no longer hopscotch and jump rope. As the age their interest turns to dice. And they only spill out onto the streets from the side walks taking up half of the road instead of the whole thing.


Now I ask them: “What makes you think I'm going to stop or even slow down for you? You don't know me. I could be some lunatic that is amused by vehicular man slaughter. Is this some new risk sport like bungee jumping? Are you getting off on the idea you might be killed by the grill of Hummer? If it is a sport how is it scored, and do I get points for hitting you? If so I will try harder next time.”