Ok, so I think that most Americans have this love/hate relationship with the great and all powerful McDonalds. I know I do. My favorite is the Happy Meal. It's name not only promises, but delivers the gift of happiness. But in recent years it also contains a small side of regret and guilt. The Happy part is the toy and that wonderfully tasty cheese burger. Though most of the time the toy is not all that great. My disappointment in the toy has gotten easier to deal with as I've gotten older. I've just learned with age not to expect much. (Kind of like men.)
The side of guilt that rides along with this wonderful meal is from society. It's has become shameful to go to McDonalds. Left, right and center you are hearing or reading that McDonalds is BAD for you. And what kin of person feeds such awful food to their child. A guy even made a documentary a few years ago showing you how BAD McDonalds was, by eating only McDonalds everyday for a Month. I was really disappointed after watching it. Not to ruin the ending for you but he doesn’t die.
When I was a child it was a treat. Children would have their birthday parties there and you would get to play at the indoor playground. Ronald was our friend. But not anymore, now that I'm older I have been informed that Ronald is no friend of mine. He has been secretly trying to take over the world and not only that... He is also poisoning us all very slowly. I was really upsetting to find out about this. What next? Will I finding out that Santa was really using the presents thing as a way to get into your house and plant a ticking time bomb.
So now I’m going to let you all in on all the horrors I have been hearing about McDonalds. I can't give you my sources because it's way to dangerous, but believe me they are reliable just like the acclaimed news paper The enquirer .
Let me tell you, this is scary stuff!
First of all McDonald's has restaurants all over the world and is infiltrating the local cultures of these places. The local people don't want to eat McDonalds but they are brainwashed by TV commercials and product placement telling them to eat McDonalds or there first born male will be slaughtered.
I have also heard that they pump out special smoke into the air around the McDonalds so people will start drooling and turn into McDonalds eating Zombies. This intoxicating smell makes them unable to think for themselves and make healthy choices for their diet. Can you believe it? I know! And the government knows all about this too.
McDonalds power controls all of America, and some parts of England. I have been told that Europe is working hard to combat McDonalds. The are using the pretentiousness technique. how it works is They consider themselves too good to eat something as common as a cheese burger. Apparently this is really working well in France. They turn there nose up at it and eat really expensive cheese instead. Even though there government was the inventor of the bio weapon known as the "French fry". If too many of these are eaten you are bound to never leave your couch again. It was smuggled in the ass of the statue of liberty. This is something they have conveniently left out of the history books. The French never new the fall out would make it all the way back to Europe. Look who is sorry now.
Their may be some contires that are able to servive the war aginst McDonalds, but I don't think England one of them. There cultures’ food is bland and can't stand a chance next to a maples syrup injected pancakes bursting with shockingly good flavor. I think India might make it even though they have a lot of starving people. Their cultures’ food is very flavorful and spicy. Hard to compete with the kind of flavor indian food provides. Sorry, China but your local cuisine is so strange and gross that I'm sure the hamburger will be a huge hit with the young folks. So watch out communism, It's hard to compeat with that box O' Happy.
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